How stress manifested as severe physical symptoms
During maternity leave with my second child, I developed debilitating dizziness and nausea, and lost 16 pounds beyond the baby weight. I thought I was dying. Every medical test came back normal.
Content note: This post discusses severe health anxiety and psychiatric hospitalization. Please take care of yourself while reading.
My worst episode of chronic symptoms came on after my second child was born. I took a year off to be home with my baby and preschooler. I thought I’d enjoy it, but I was miserable–though I hated to admit it, even to myself.
My husband had a long commute, leaving me alone with the kids from 6 AM to 6:30 PM. I never made enough breast milk for my almost-10-pound baby, so he cluster-fed all evening. Both kids would cry in the car if I drove anywhere, trapping me at home. My older son’s preschool kicked him out of afternoon care because he wouldn’t nap, leaving me with just three hours of childcare a day. When my baby started refusing the breast at six months, just like my first son had done at 4 ½ months, I felt like I’d failed again.