Author Archives: JERIMENNIFER

How I Learned Not To Abandon Myself

(and What a Mispronounced Name Taught Me)

My body had been speaking what I refused to acknowledge: I was abandoning myself to take care of everyone else, and my nervous system wasn’t having it anymore.

While postpartum with my second child, I was hospitalized for severe depression and anxiety after suffering months of chronic dizziness and nausea. I was released from the hospital after twelve days of inpatient treatment. During those days, I kept solid food down for the first time in months, started to have an appetite, and was just beginning to be able to sleep through the night. I was seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

When I got home and was back in the stressful environment I had left, I immediately felt like no recovery had occurred at all. My husband expected me to be back to 100% right aw…ay, and every stressful moment, even the sound of my son’s voice (needing something from me!), caused a wave of dread, dizziness and nausea to come right back. Clearly, I hadn’t fully recovered yet. So I got put in a full-day intensive outpatient program for six weeks, so I could ease back into “life on the outside.”

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When My Body Expressed What I Couldn’t Say

How stress manifested as severe physical symptoms

During maternity leave with my second child, I developed debilitating dizziness and nausea, and lost 16 pounds beyond the baby weight. I thought I was dying. Every medical test came back normal.

Content note: This post discusses severe health anxiety and psychiatric hospitalization. Please take care of yourself while reading.

My worst episode of chronic symptoms came on after my second child was born. I took a year off to be home with my baby and preschooler. I thought I’d enjoy it, but I was miserable–though I hated to admit it, even to myself.

My husband had a long commute, leaving me alone with the kids from 6 AM to 6:30 PM. I never made enough breast milk for my almost-10-pound baby, so he cluster-fed all evening. Both kids would cry in the car if I drove anywhere, trapping me at home. My older son’s preschool kicked him out of afternoon care because he wouldn’t nap, leaving me with just three hours of childcare a day. When my baby started refusing the breast at six months, just like my first son had done at 4 ½ months, I felt like I’d failed again.

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The People-Pleaser’s Guide to Chronic Pain

How I Learned About the Mind-Body Connection

I was 28 years old, sleeping with a mouth guard, walking around in orthopedic shoes, and wearing a wrist splint to work and to bed. My body was falling apart—or so I thought.

This newsletter is a bit longer than usual—I want to share my own journey with chronic pain and introduce you briefly to the principles of mind-body healing that changed my life. If you’re a parent dealing with unexplained symptoms that doctors can’t figure out, this story might sound familiar.

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Check Out My New Substack, Body Wise Parent!

I just launched my own Substack, called Body Wise Parent: Mind-body Wisdom for Parents. In it, I’ll be posting roughly biweekly about neuroplasticity, mind-body healing, and my own experience overcoming symptoms while raising four kids.

My hope is to support parents struggling with chronic pain, unexplained medical symptoms, anxiety and depression, while sharing knowledge about how to balance the needs of our families with our own need for self-care and nourishment. My first newsletter shares a bit about my own path through chronic symptoms and what I hope to share in upcoming newsletters. Check it out at https://bodywiseparent.substack.com.

Video Explaining Basics of Neuroplastic Pain & Symptoms

Your Brain Can Unlearn Pain – Explained

A video generated by Notebook LM summarizing the basics about neuroplastic chronic pain and symptoms, and the revolutionary treatments that can help people overcome suffering and disability

The Mind-Body Connection in Chronic Symptoms

Pain and other chronic symptoms—like IBS, vertigo, tinnitus or bladder issues—can take over our lives. Physical symptoms naturally create fear, and symptoms and fear together can become the center of our attention, pushing everything else into the background.

When pain or symptom keep us from doing the things we enjoy, it’s common to feel anxious or depressed. In fact, most people who struggle with chronic pain also experience anxiety or depression. It’s not always clear which came first, because they are closely connected. Many people with chronic symptoms have experienced childhood adversity, and are likely to be perfectionists or people-pleasers—traits that can increase stress and make us more vulnerable to both physical and emotional symptoms.

While chronic pain and other physical symptoms appear to be based in the body, research shows that trauma, emotions and stress play a powerful role—even sometimes when pain seems to have a clear physical cause.

I experienced this firsthand. Years ago, I developed chronic wrist tendinitis that was attributed to  typing too much. My pain was real and constant, and I tried everything—chiropractic, physical therapy, massage, acupuncture, Alexander Technique, and Feldenkrais classes. Nothing helped for long. I had to stop doing many things I loved. I wore wrist splints, used voice-recognition software, and avoided cooking, gardening, and knitting. Despite all these precautions, I was in pain for more than two years.

Then I found Dr. John Sarno’s book Healing Back Pain. He discovered that many people who had  physical findings that might cause pain—like herniated discs or arthritis—had completely different pain experiences. Some had severe pain, while others with the same imaging results felt none at all. One large study of over 3,000 people found that spine changes seen on MRIs are usually a normal part of aging and don’t necessarily cause pain. His work with his patients demonstrated that emotional stress and repressed anger can create very real physical pain. He helped many thousands of people recover from chronic pain with his medical practice and his books. I was one of them. 

It’s important to note that pain or other symptoms are not “all in your head.” Chronic symptoms are  absolutely real. But all our experiences are mediated by the brain, and our brains interpret pain based on not only sensations sent from the body, but also based on expectation, and the perception of danger. If we’re afraid that something is wrong with our bodies, or of conflict, negative emotions, or anything else we experience, pain and other symptoms can begin or intensify. On the other hand, if we feel safe and confident in our body’s strength, and in our ability to handle our emotions and our relationships, they can fade—even when nothing physical has changed. This is why treatments that reduce fear and increase a sense of safety can be so effective. The fact that changes in in how we interpret the world impact our symptoms is why we call these symptoms “neuroplastic.”

Over the past several years, there has been increasing evidence supporting Dr. Sarno’s theory, and new treatments have begun to be proven to help patients overcome neuroplastic symptoms. In 2020, I completed training with the Pain Psychology Center to work with clients using Pain Reprocessing Therapy (PRT). A study at the University of Colorado found that people with long-term back pain experienced major or complete recovery after just four weeks of PRT.

PRT helps retrain the brain to interpret pain signals differently. It uses mindfulness, cognitive, and behavioral techniques to reduce fear, calm the nervous system, and build a sense of safety in the body. As fear decreases, pain often does too—sometimes permanently.

Chronic symptoms, as miserable as they can be, often serve hidden purposes. They may give us permission to slow down, rest, or seek care from others. They may distract us from emotions we’d rather not face. Understanding these patterns can help us reclaim our energy and our lives.

When we start to truly trust that our bodies are strong and resilient, and that we can handle our emotions and the stresses in our lives, we can stop letting pain dictate our choices. With the right tools and mindset, recovery is possible—and life can feel full and joyful again.

Somatic Complaints During the Perinatal Period

Pregnancy and the postpartum period are very vulnerable times. Our bodies change in ways that can feel scary and uncomfortable. It’s also a time when a lot of birthing people experience somatic complaints. Symptoms often include morning sickness and the typical aches and pains of pregnancy and new parenthood. But they can also include sciatica, vertigo, migraine, heartburn, wrist pain, back and neck pain, and even Hyperemesis Gravidarum (severe nausea and vomiting during pregnancy). These symptoms can be scary, and they can make us believe that there is something seriously wrong with our bodies.

When we are experiencing symptoms that scare us, that fear turns up the dial on our perception of those sensations. And those of us who tend to experience these symptoms the most during pregnancy and the postpartum period are folks who “somatize” our stress and emotions — often those of us who’ve experienced childhood adversity and who are also susceptible to depression and anxiety.

I am one of those people. I’ve struggled with chronic symptoms since childhood, including asthma, IBS, TMJ pain, wrist pain, bladder symptoms, etc. But after the birth of my second child, my physical symptoms were the worst I had ever faced. My postpartum anxiety presented as somatic symptoms—constant, overwhelming dizziness and nausea that made it difficult caused me to be unable to care for my children. At the time, I didn’t connect these symptoms to stress or self-neglect, but in hindsight, they were clear signs that I needed better boundaries and self-care. With therapy and support, I learned to prioritize my own well-being, and slowly recovered.

I now know how common it is for new and expecting parents to experience both psychological and physical symptoms during the perinatal period. It’s an incredibly vulnerable time, and stress commonly shows up in the body. The good news is that these symptoms—whether depression, anxiety, vertigo, or pain conditions like headaches, dizziness, wrist tendinitis, neck pain or sciatica—are highly treatable.

As a therapist specializing in perinatal mental health and neuroplastic symptom recovery, I help clients heal both physically and emotionally, so they can return to the full, balanced life they deserve. How we engage with our physical symptoms can either exacerbate or heal them. Pain Reprocessing Therapy teaches us how to view physical sensations from a lens of safety, so sensations are not amplified. And Emotional Awareness and Expression Therapy helps us release strong emotions that can contribute to tension and symptoms in the body.

Psychotherapy can also support birthing people in learning to prioritize our own well-being as we are learning to care for our babies. Not abandoning ourselves while caring for our family helps us become healthy parents in body, mind, and spirit.

Empowering Mind-Body Healing for Women

A supportive, empowering message to women who have had their pain and symptoms dismissed for far too long.

For generations, possibly since the advent of modern medicine, women’s health concerns have been minimized, misunderstood, or dismissed outright. Women have been labeled “hysterical,” “dramatic,” or “too sensitive” when they were suffering with very real physical conditions. Many of us have been told our symptoms are “all in our heads,” that we’re overreacting, and that we simply need to calm down or push through. Or to “just get over it.”

Given that history, it is completely understandable that the idea of mind–body healing can feel uncomfortable or even insulting. For many women, it appears to echo the same harmful messages we’ve heard their whole lives:
“You’re imagining it.”
“It’s your fault.”
“Just get over it.”

That’s the opposite of what women deserve. 

Women are not “more emotional.” We are more burdened.

Women experience higher rates of chronic pain, autoimmune illness, migraines, IBS, fatigue disorders, anxiety, and other stress-related conditions—not because we are weaker or more fragile–in fact, just the opposite! It is very likely that these conditions impact women more because we often carry more:

  • Caregiving responsibilities
  • Emotional labor at home and at work
  • Discrimination and microaggressions
  • Financial and workplace instability
  • Exposure to trauma and unsafe relationships
  • Pressure to be accommodating, calm, kind, and self-sacrificing

Women are often expected to perform at work as if we don’t have families, and at home as if we don’t have jobs. We are trained to consider others’ needs before their own. We are told to smile through pain and stay “pleasant,” no matter what we’re carrying. A body under those conditions will eventually speak up. Often through pain or symptoms.

When symptoms are neuroplastic, they’re not imaginary

Pain or symptoms that are created or maintained by the brain are not “made up,” “in your head,” or less legitimate or impactful. It simply means the nervous system has become overwhelmed and has created the symptom as an act of self-protection. The brain is incredibly powerful, and it can create real: 

  • pain
  • inflammation
  • skin conditions
  • digestive issues
  • dizziness
  • fatigue
  • nausea
  • sensitivities to foods, sounds, light and chemicals
  • sensations of numbness, tingling, itching and burning, and others

Neuroplastic symptoms are real. They can be severe. They can be disabling. And they are treatable.

Not with willpower.
Not with “pushing through.”
Not with being a “good patient.”
Not with pretending you’re fine.

But with approaches that calm and retrain the brain, address stress and overwhelm, restore agency, and bring your system back into balance.

Why women often hesitate to embrace mind–body neuroplastic treatments:

Women have excellent reasons to be cautious:

  • We’ve often been dismissed by providers or been given answers and treatments that were not helpful or that made things worse.
  • We’re often told that our symptoms are due to stress without receiving support to address the root cause.
  • We’ve lacked adequate care, support, or time to heal.
  • We haven’t had our suffering taken seriously.

So when someone says, “Your pain may be neuroplastic,” many women understandably hear:
“You’re imagining it.”
or
“It’s up to you to fix it alone.”

But in truth, neuroplastic healing is one of the most validating approaches available, because it says: “Your symptoms are real, your suffering is legitimate, and your healing matters.”

Mind–body healing is not self-blame — it is self-restoration.

Neuroplastic treatments do not ask women to ignore structural medical issues that need treatment, and they are not based on the idea that pain or discomfort is “all in your head.” What mind-body healing does do is empower women with tools that have been proven to reduce or eliminate chronic pain and other symptoms by addressing the overloaded nervous systems that so many women live with every day.

Healing happens through:

  • Learning to feel safe in your body again
  • Setting boundaries where life has demanded too much
  • Addressing perfectionistic or self-sacrificial patterns that make life difficult
  • Giving yourself the compassion you rarely receive from others
  • Processing emotions you’ve had to suppress to survive
  • Reclaiming agency over your health and wellbeing

It is about restoring your sense of safety and learning to live in a way that allows you to feel your feelings, prioritize your well-being, and live in a more authentic way. Living more authentically allows your nervous system to thrive and allows you to engage with life in a more joyful way. 

You deserve a healing path that sees the whole you

Mind–body healing is not a message that something is wrong with you. It is a message that you’ve likely carried too much, and it’s taken a toll on your well-being. Your symptoms — painful, frustrating, frightening as they are — are your body’s way of saying:

“I’ve been carrying too much for too long.”
“I need care just as much as I give it.”
“I deserve safety, rest, and support.”

You deserve to feel fully supported as you reclaim your health, your agency, and your well-being.

If you’d like to schedule a consultation to discuss the symptoms you’re experiencing, contact me, or schedule an appointment.